This is the proper way to eat gummi bears, specifically, Haribo Gold-Bears. You will need one package of Haribo Gold-Bears, a tongue and a working set of teeth. The instructions are as follows:
1. Open the package of gummi bears.
2. Select two gummi bears of any color except red (the red gummi bears are eaten only after all the other gummi bears have been consumed – I’ll explain why later).
3. Suck the two gummi bears. Do not chew or bite. You can only chew or bite once you’ve sucked the gummi bears to the point that you can’t feel their features (ears, nose, hands & feet) on your tongue anymore. Completely dissolving the first two gummi bears in your mouth is the only way to pay homage to the gummi bear gods for allowing you to eat their kin.
4. Select another two gummi bears of any color except red. This time, you can suck/chew/bite them anyway you like.
5. Once you have consumed all the non-red gummi bears, you can eat the red gummi bears. You saved these till last not because they are the best ones, but because their flavor profile is super-strong and tends to over-power the taste of the other gummi bears so they are best eaten alone.
6. To repeat the experience, open another package of Haribo Gold-Bears and see #2.
As a gummi bear connoisseur, I sincerely believe Haribo Gold-Bears are the best brand of gummi bears out there. Here are some interesting facts about them:
1. Flavors – if you thought the green bears are apple flavored like I did then you would be dead wrong like I was. According to Haribo’s site:
– white bear = pineapple (this is my favorite one)
– green bear = strawberry (your guess is as good as mine)
– yellow bear = lemon
– orange bear = orange
– red bear = raspberry (in all honesty, I used to save the red bears till last because I thought they were cherry flavored and I abhor cherry-flavored stuff. I like real cherries but fake cherry flavors – ugh. However, this did not stop me from eating those red bears, no sirree).
2. Haribo is a Turkish company. I used to think the gummi bears were made in China because isn’t everything made in China? Apparently not. Haribo Gold-Bears are European.
3. A frequently asked question of Haribo is “Can I buy just one flavor of Haribo Gold-Bears?” which they answer thusly:
“We don’t package individual flavors of Haribo Gold-Bears. We suggest finding some friends who like the other colors and trading with them!”
Happy gummi bear eating!